


"In balance with this life, this death"

by koalathebear



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-14
Updated: 2013-09-14
Packaged: 2017-12-26 13:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/966458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koalathebear/pseuds/koalathebear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I've written a fic about the Wei Triplets (<a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/941051">"Crimson Memorial"</a>), so wanted to write something about Cherno Alpha's team pilots Sasha Kaidonovsky and Aleksis Kaidonovsky as well.  I love the Pacific Rim universe so much -there are so many stories to tell.</p><p>
  <i>It seems strange that they die so far away from her beloved Russia, in this strange place that is not their home and for a people whose language they do not even speak.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	"In balance with this life, this death"

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from Yeats' poem "An Irish Airman Foresees His Death" because it occurs to me that Sasha and Aleksis die in Hong Kong, a very long way away from their home country and the people they loved.

__**An Irish Airman Foresees His Death**  
I know that I shall meet my fate  
Somewhere among the clouds above;  
Those that I fight I do not hate,  
Those that I guard I do not love;  
My country is Kiltartan Cross,  
My countrymen Kiltartan's poor,  
No likely end could bring them loss  
Or leave them happier than before.  
Nor law, nor duty bade me fight,  
Nor public men, nor cheering crowds,  
A lonely impulse of delight  
Drove to this tumult in the clouds;  
I balanced all, brought all to mind,  
The years to come seemed waste of breath,  
A waste of breath the years behind  
In balance with this life, this death.  
\- William Butler Yeats

*

Born in Moscow on 9 February 1991, Sasha was born the same year that the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was dissolved and the 15 independent states emerged

During the USSR's 69 year history, it was Russia that was the largest in size of all of the 15 republics, dominating the union with its might and power.

For Sasha, however, life after the dissolution of the USSR was all she had ever known. Stories of Russia's past glories have always been just that to her – stories.

Like the rest of the world, a 22 year old Sasha watches the television in horror as the first kaiju attacks San Francisco. 

Two years later, she enlists in the Pan Pacific Defence Corps, joining the Jaeger Academy Class with her husband, Aleksis Kaidonovsky, the love of her life.

Over 7 feet tall, Aleksis towers over her but never overwhelms her. His superiors say that he has  
issues with aggression, which make him unpredictable and a "concern" on the battlefield but Sasha knows that he is as loyal and tender as he is fierce and courageous and there is no one in the world who understands the stubbornness and wilfulness of Sasha Kaidonovsky like Aleksis.

The first time they Drift, their connection is complete and their minds meet and connect as though they are one. They have never had secrets from one another and the neural handshake merely reinforces an already strong bond and love.

When they first meet their Jaeger Cherno Alpha, it is like a meeting of old friends. The last of the T-90s, unlike other Jaegers, its Conn-Pod is located mid-torso. Alpha's head is a massive cylinder containing reserves for its power supply, as well as tanks of fuel for its twin incendiary turbines, located on either shoulder. The Jaeger is squat and heavy, built to get close and take a punch to give one.

"It's not beautiful, but it's a powerful machine – built to endure and sustain damage," she is told.

She doesn't know what they are talking about. As her fingers with their red tipped nails touch the cold unyielding metal of their Jaeger, Sasha thinks she's never seen anything more beautiful in her life.

Many Drifts later, many kaiju kills later and their time at the Vladivostok Shatterdome also becomes a thing of the past. As the Jaeger Programme is scaled down, Sasha and Aleksis are at the Hong Kong Shatterdome, the very last line of defence left against a foe that appears to grow more powerful and terrifying each day. Enlisted to participate in a last ditch attempt to avert the annihilation of the planet by the kaiju, both are fully aware that they are unlikely to survive.

Sasha watches narrowly as Pentecost walks past with Raleigh Becket beside him. 

“Aleksis and Sasha Kaidanovsky, husband and wife pilot team. They hold the record for longest sustained neural handshake, over eighteen hours.”

“I’ve heard of them. Perimeter patrol on the Siberian Wall,” she hears Raleigh say, respect in his voice as his blue eyes study them closely.

Sasha and Aleksis walk past, hearing Pentecost continue to speak. "Under their watch, it went unbreached for six years.”

Six long years. Six years of war in which cities were destroyed and lives were lost. Their friends and family are long dead and now all the Kaidanovskys have is each other, Cherno Alpha and their hatred of the kaiju.

There had been no hesitation when approached by Pentecost. "You might die," he told them gravely.

"We have faced death many times day during the last six years," Aleksis told the Marshall grimly.

"The bureaucrats would have us stand down when we are needed most," Sasha had spoken with a look of profound contempt on her proud face. "We are soldiers. If we die, we die in battle. In Cherno Alpha and not hiding in an underground bunker like a rat."

*  
When they witness Mako Mori's disgrace in the Conn-Pod of Gipsy Danger, Aleksis is horrified and angered. 

Sasha feels a flicker of sympathy for the inexperienced young Ranger but is also disapproving of the young woman's lack of self-control and discipline.

"They are a danger to us all," Aleksis mutters in a low voice as Sasha nods slowly.

"But so few of us remain," she reminds him and he puts his arms around her and she feels the steady beat of his heart, her anchor in a world of chaos.

*

When LOCCENT Mission Control detects a Double Event, Sasha and Aleksis and Cherno Alpha are airlifted from the Shatterdome into Hong Kong's Victoria Harbour alongside Crimson Typhoon and Striker Eureka. 

Sasha watches as Otachi crushes Crimson Typhoon's Conn-Pod, killing the Wei Triplets.

When Otachi attacks, Sasha knows that there is no hope but Aleksis' mind holds tightly to hers as they continue to fight.

As Otachi fires acid onto Cherno's nuclear reactor, the acid begins to eat its way down into the cockpit. Leatherback ambushes them before Striker Eureka can reach them and the Jaeger takes heavy damage and is plunged into the water by Leatherback. 

Water floods the Conn-Pod and Sasha cannot help the flicker of fear and despair that intrudes into her thoughts. The thought of the children that they will never have. The life that they will never have together. It seems strange that they die so far away from her beloved Russia, in this strange place that is not their home and for a people whose language they do not even speak.

She feels Aleksis' grief and anger at his inability to protect her and save her from death.

 _No, my love_ she protests as the water surrounds them, her own fears forgotten as she seeks to calm and comfort. 

Voices shout through the intercom, the roar of the kaiju intensifies but Sasha hears and feels nothing except the calm stillness of the Drift and the fierceness of Aleksis' love. 

As Leatherback crushes Cherno Alpha's Conn-Pod, Aleksis turns his head towards his wife, stricken that he is not able to hold her.

Her thoughts surround his like a comforting embrace and as the life leaves their bodies, their minds are still connected … both grateful that they are dying together.

Sasha Kaidonovsky always knew that she would die in battle.


End file.
